On Saturday August 16th, 2014, after 16 years of being together, my most cherished companion and partner, both personally and professionally, courageously died. I was present and held him through this sacred transition with my arms around him and hands on his body throughout his entire passage until his last breath and beyond.
For one year, almost exactly, Wren defied ALL odds against him as he battled bilateral bacterial pneumonia. All of his vets, from Bay City, Texas to A&M University College of Veterinary Medicine were dumbfounded by this gallant 17 hand Thoroughbred’s incredible will to continue to live and serve. And to teach.
This horse was more than my friend, he was my teacher. He supported me to find the Truth of myself amidst the loud chatter and chaos of regular life and living. He demanded my absolute Presence and attention. He required my dedication and willingness to continue to ‘show up’. I gave him all I had without reservation, with no regrets. Even though he was ‘only a horse’, what I learned from him about relationship, about giving without expectation, about the capacity to receive fully and with gratitude; I could not have learned anywhere else or more exquisitely. This horse inspired me to rise up and offer the full shine of myself, to stand to my full height and offer myself and all my gifts completely to the world with fearless humility and joy. This horse in particular revealed to me the power and quiver of life that lives inside the lifetime of the single moment; Presence.
He inspired me in ways I couldn’t have begun to anticipate when I first saw him as a starving 2 year old in Dripping Springs, Texas. He altered the entire course of my life. I would absolutely not be who I am today without the steadfastness and Grace of this great great Being beside me.
Wren was my hero and in his final hours of life, he continued to teach. He taught me so much about how to live by his example of how to die. He was fearless even in the face of a challenging death and died with unfaltering bravery, courage and dignity. From LOVE he came and back into LOVE he went…Wren is freed of his physical form and is now radiantly Everywhere. And that is a comfort to me. The only one I can find in this moment. I am not sorry he died as I knew this day would come and it would free him from having always to be ‘so strong’; there is no more suffering for this gallant one, and no more constant worry for me … but I miss his giant Presence like somebody who just buried the light of the sun, moon and stars.
To those of you out there who knew Wren or were touched by him in some way, you will know what I mean, when I say, ‘the big boy had Soul’. And he did.
Some of you know of his passing and some of you do not. It’s been my challenge to begin sharing this news because to say ‘my horse died’ … does not begin to explain what has happened. But maybe now, you can understand a little more about me and who I am and why and how he was so much more to me than, ‘just a horse‘.
He was my life. And now, it’s time to continue. To breathe and do what living beings do. Live. One moment at a time.
Thank You Wren, for all you were and are to me. You cannot ever be forgotten as you will live on, forever woven into and through, my heart. Thank you.
And like a close friend of mine told me, ‘I’ll always have the best of you inside of me.”
Fly on my champion of the skies.